I Can See Clearly Now...

The first two months have flown by. I can't believe we are coming up to the end of February already. These first two months of 2009 have brought some incredible challenges and some healing. I have been trying to follow The Eden Diet principle of eating only when I am hungry and cutting back. I am totally in touch with the hunger signal. My stomach growls like a lion. The one thing that has been difficult is not putting the same amount on my plate or stopping before the plate is clean. That is an old behavior and an old way of thinking. That comes from the past in "not having enough" or what is on my plate is a "luxury" in these economic times. I am submitting this to the Lord to help break this bondage. Only my trust in the Lord will break these chains forever. God is my rock and my refuge.



I spent a wonderful Saturday morning with the Lord and journaled and He took me to His Word and it was an incredible revelation. The Grace and Mercy He gives me every morning is something I was not giving to the individuals in my past that have caused so much pain. In that revelation I realized that His Grace and Mercy is total forgiveness, compassion, acceptance. His Grace and Mercy are unmerited, undeserved, and unjustifed favor which is what I MUST give these individuals and to let go of the past. In so doing, I no longer feel that I need this wall of weight to protect me any longer from the pain these people inflict upon my soul. I can be healthy and happy, forgiving, loving, filled with acceptance and compassion. It doesn't mean I have to pick up the phone and call them or be in their presence. Forgiveness is not for them, it is for me. It is for God. It is for Love. I get it. I hope that by my sharing this with others, they too can let go and let God.





I have noticed a change these past two months in my weight. I am not looking for it to "fall" off, however, I can tell that it is leaving slowly as I continue to make the small changes on a daily basis. I will continue to work on the "amount" that is on my plate and start to listen to the "fullness".

I am so grateful in finding Dr. Hancock and this book. In talking to my therapist and telling her how we are to eat whatever we want, when we are hungry and not worry about the calories, etc. She told me that is the way she lives her life. Isn't that funny? I am trying to get to the point of "normal" that is so "normal" for others. I know the Lord is with me through this journey as He continues to guide me and open doors and my heart to help others feel the freedom that can only come from Him.